Friday, July 26, 2013

The Boicean Project

I've gained a respect and appreciation for Boice, however off-putting his medical terminology in reference to writers/the writing process are. Perhaps it is done on purpose to convince the readers to take the suggestions and rules more seriously?

I will have to re-read the sections of Boice we discussed in class, and at a much more mindful pace. I want to go back to the imagination/creativity section too.

Overall, I am open to the ideas Boice presents to us. I think outlining the chapters in a way that describes what impacts myself and my actions the most, as well as a clearer way to connect ideas between chapters will be helpful.

The ideas presented by Boice, I've come to learn, apply to many other practices in my life. Specifically, I turn to music and my past approaches to practicing piano and voice. I stopped voice lessons because I couldn't take it - it was a torturous process. I felt awful about myself, my voice, my lack of a system of practice and approach. After processing the exercises and suggestions of Boice, I am feeling more confident about possibly returning to voice lessons. I now have a plan, an approach, an angle. I knew before Boice that practicing was a daily task, that small chunks over time show progress and success, but I was at a loss of what to do within those chunks. I asked teachers, fellow musicians, and never really found a satisfactory answer.

I plan to implement the practice of BDSs in many aspects of my life as well. I tend to have too many projects going on at once, leaving me feeling unfinished, incapable, and all other sorts of negative feelings. I plan on creating a project calendar and working on a different project everyday, or every week, and applying the Boice strategies to pursuing progress.

Have I mentioned how much I've learned in this course and how excited I am to try all this out in the fall?

I would really enjoy a reunion maybe midway through the semester, to see how everyone is doing in regards to writing, as well as in general. (Sort of like the Boice groups - setting ourselves loose and then returning to follow-up on how things went.)

Thanks for the support, laughs, and insightful observations from everyone. Without such a diverse and encouraging class, this would not have been the excellent experience it has turned out to be.

Boice pp 161 - end of chapter!

All this talk about hypomania hasn't struck a chord with me to be honest. There are few times I can recall going on writings. I understand, but can't say I have a history of the habits associated.

Environmental controls - patients? Oh Boice.

"Time that could be spent writing (or practicing, or drawing, or other helpful, productive actions) is always in danger of displacement by other binges; office cleaning or redecoration can dislodge writing as much as any acitivity imaginable."
Guilty as charged. The desire to create the perfect working environment often is acted upon before the actual working, leaving me feeling ashamed of my decision. It's not even that fun while you're doing it! You're stressed out about how unkempt the place is, while knowing you're procrastinating by cleaning.

I'm not sure what Boice means by distance-focusing. Looking into the distance to re-establish focus?

Not surprised that Boice makes sure to include a social factor into writing settings - social support.

I'm surprised to see music didn't play a larger factor in the conditions, but like the idea of a desk fountain. Such a great reminder (in my mind) of the idea of mindfulness, as well as a calming sound to focus on in unsteady thoughts/times.

The reactions of those who know they are not as successful as other members of the writing groups were a small sense of comfort and certainly a reminder of something I tell myself everyday: "people live their lives differently." There is no reason to beat yourself (or others!) up for not following each and every rule, and in the correct manner.

I think I have been far more concerned about doing everything right and in the correct manner, rather than experiencing the effects of the actions. Fear of failure, not doing things right, pops up in the funniest ways and places.

Aha, distance focus!

Has to do with our eyes, so I wasn't too off base. It is a relaxation technique. Why not distance relaxation Boice? I don't exactly want more to focus on!

Boice pp 153-161

This section, in combination with the wonderful walking meditation experience I had created a confirmation in myself: live slowly.






Taking time to notice things. Learning to discern what to notice, and what to appreciate.

Spending time in the morning assimilating our minds to the purpose of the day (living slowly, calm, mild happiness, etc.) sounds like a great idea, but one I would have to wake up earlier for. I am awful at waking up early, and doing it to relax? Well, not such a bad idea.

There seems to be so much to do with this process now. Even though we've been practicing BDSs, there has been what comes across as a lot more to do - the prewriting, breaking down how to do that prewriting, creativity, RETs... it may all be variations of the same ideas, but in a systematic order, how would that look? I may need to make a scheduled outline of it all. Having a checklist as a reminder would be helpful.

"Don't waste your energy expecting..."
Take things as they come. Doesn't mean abandoning living to certain standards, but having flexibility in what comes your way.

"Recognize your own contribution." (in regards to vulnerability)
This concept struck me as interesting because I hadn't considered it before. However, like always, it makes sense. The amount of time the way we think contributing to our "suffering" is unbelievable sometimes. When did we learn to operate in this manner? Who said this was okay?

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Boice pp 148 - 151: "I know what foolishness it is."

Man, talk about self-empowerment! This entire reading gave me the slightest tickle of butterflies. The simplicity of rejecting negative thoughts that hold us back from positive and esteem-building activities was a relief. This (moderated) excitement topped out at the cited idea above, "I know what foolishness it is."

We are strong individuals who can take more than we allow ourselves. It is a disservice to ourselves and in turn to others if we deny ourselves the opportunities we fear so adamantly.

"Just get on with it."
Reminds me of a phrase from a past reading, something to the extent of "I know I'll like it when I start, so I might as well start."

"The parts of our minds that spew out the irrationalities hang on to their old scripts with remarkable tenacity and ingenuity."
So we must be vigilant and observant of these scripts in order to create the best combatant scripts that will dissolve the captors (of our minds and efforts.)

The third stem of depression, as outlined by Ellis/Boice, the "unrealistic belief that other people should treat us considerately and fairly," gets me in trouble rather frequently. I cite the golden rule and that I try my hardest to carry it out with friend and foe alike, but find myself upset when the friend does not reciprocate. It leaves me feeling wasted, frustrated, a tad embarrassed, and ready to give up and become bitter. It discourages my extension of golden rule behavior to anyone. This can easily be seen in any sort of writing or activity that requires the same moderation as writing (my thoughts go to practicing [voice or piano].)

I plan on building RET time into any sort of preparation activity for practicing, writing, and exercising in order to help support the continuation of the activity. They are all things I love, and things I know I will benefit from. Why not help the process along?

We are the ones holding ourselves back. We have the power to let ourselves go.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

BDS - 7/23/13

Today, I got a timer on my phone (why Andriod doesn't create that app within its preset clock app is beyond me) and set it for two sets of 10 minutes. I took a 5 minute break halfway through the 20 minute sesh and stood up, stretched a bit, got a snack and drink of water - and was back in action! I am becoming more and more aware (in bds land as well as in everyday life) of any tension I hold in my face, particularly my cheeks, jawbone, and eyes, as well as my tongue clinging mercilessly to the roof of my mouth. I find that when I loosen up these areas, I gain some ease and focus.

Next time, I would like to do a body scan or even some yoga before starting my bds. I enjoy the whole-body awareness!

BDS - 7/22/13

That's right, I brought back the double-entry/sided notes for my new project! I (FINALLY) finished up my research paper for my religions course and have now turned my focus to applying the Boicean way to songwriting.

As we began our 25-minute session, I jotted down my purpose for that bds: to research and begin to join the conversation on songwriting. Not exactly the most promising thing to enter into google. Nonetheless, I read a few articles, wrote my double-sided notes, and felt a comfortable ease in the direction I see myself moving in.

We took two breaks at ten-minute intervals, resting momentarily to reset our bodies and minds to more comfortable, mindful, and focucsed positions.

Boice pp 139-144

It seems the pages missing from the book address anxiety, something I am all too familiar with. Throughout the reading, I made notes in the margins about the relativity of mindfulness in helping ease any tension or issues discussed. "If only they would be mindful!" I shout to the paper (in my head.)

One phrase that caught my attention was the following:
"How much in control am I?" (in regards to "relying on binges for creativity")

For some reason, I never really considered this 4 chapter Boice process a move towards more controlled writing. It makes sense though. Boice gives us the fence-posts for our poor sheep like minds, and allows us to build the limits that create the most comfort and success as writers with them. It never felt like we were forcing the sheep-like minds, grasping too hard. But that is in fact what Boice has been describing, but not in those words.

It's an interesting perspective for me. I'm interested to see where the rest of the chapter leads us!

Write on, fellow sheeple.